honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
