so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
