Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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