hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
