I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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