Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
