Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
