Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
