i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
