Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
