Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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