Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
