One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
