the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
