This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
