I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
