Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
