I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
