I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
