are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
