Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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