Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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