Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
