Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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