omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
