You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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