well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
