So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
