He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
