The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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