I think my vagina is haunted
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
