Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
