i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
