Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
