did you get engaged???
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Randomize
