; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
