So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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