If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
