her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
