You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
