im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
