When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
