my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
