i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
