Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
