He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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