yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
