We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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