i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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