This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
