Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
