Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
