I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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